I’m always constantly telling myself that I’m not good enough at something compared to others, or I want to be that person but never will be. But above it all, I have to reassure myself that it’s okay if you can’t achieve what others can do, because:
1. You’re not them.
2. Sometimes you don’t have the skills and mindset like they have, and
3. That is completely okay, because everyone is different.
One example I would like to share with you all is regarding my two Instagram accounts. So as many of you know, Instagram is a platform for sharing photos, and there are people with thousands of followers, amazing and inspiring photos, etc. However, I never believed that I would ever pick up those traits, and ever since starting a foodie account 3 years ago, never have I been so happy yet disappointed with myself. For 3 years (and counting), I’ve shared my culinary adventures with just a little over 100 followers, and even tags are not suffice for me to gain more followers. In those 3 years, I have shared my passion for food with friends, strangers, and other passionate foodies by posting 300+ photos. Now, my point is not exactly the need for more followers, but the recognition part. Quite often (like I do on here when writing my blog posts), I feel as though I am constantly posting stuff I feel so passionate about but not being recognised for it, or in most cases, no one who would want to read my posts. It’s a constant feeling of loneliness, and most times, it feels like all glimmer of hope disappears into the dark.
However, I tried not to dwell on things that may never be recognised by others, rather focusing on continuing to be passionate in what I love doing. And that is to continue sharing photos of food with people.
Subsequently, there was a downside to this since not too long ago I decided to start up another account (different to the food one) by attempting to mimic other accounts posting floral/scenic shots, fashion, etc. The reason why I started this account was because there were a few photos I had posted earlier on in the first account (that is now solely on food) which I really wanted to continue on sharing. But in one week, I barely saw any gain in followers, and literally lost all hope in posting photos I wanted to inspire people with. I felt like the biggest loser with the most amateur, uninspiring, unglamorous pictures. There was no way I was going to be that traveler with a photographer by my side taking pictures of me at the Maldives scuba-diving, on the streets of Venice in a gorgeous outfit, sipping on wine from a famous winery, waking up in a fancy hotel room with breakfast in bed, or even me looking photo-ready whenever wherever. I would never be that popular Instagram girl in front of the camera because I’m different, and had I continued with that account, I would have probably just wasted my time and effort.
But, if there is one thing I gained from these experiences, it would be this; I tried my best, and that’s all there is to fulfilling what I wanted to do despite the fact that some things weren’t for me. Had I not tried, and pursued my goals or desires, I would still be sitting here thinking if I should go ahead with it, and would have probably dragged it on as time went by. But because I had learnt that starting up that second account was not for me, I made the decision to leave it and pursue other things.
Where the part of fulfilment comes in is towards the end of chasing that dream or desire, regardless if the outcome is good or bad. I have tried and achieved many things in the past which made me feel fulfilled, and also tried, but failed in many things as well. But more importantly, the thing I want people to take away from this, is that it’s okay to start anew, give it your all, even if things don’t go the way you planned. The point is you tried, you failed, or succeeded, and that’s what counts. Life is limitless, so don’t be afraid of chasing your dreams even if they’re not meant for you. Fulfilment is derived from many different things, and for me, closing up that second instagram account was really sad and disappointing, but moreover, it gave me some closure, and made me fulfilled knowing that I did something that wouldn’t have made me worse off in the future.